I'm guessing if you're reading this you've thought about some kind of faith sharing in the past, but have shrunk back from taking action. The first thing I want to mention is that it's not your fault. There are a lot of bad examples out there. I can remember being accosted in a hospital waiting room one time and despite saying no thank you several times the fellow wouldn't leave me alone. Please Dear Lord anything but that!
If in the past you've been afraid that sharing requires you to be a kind of pushy sales person, locked in a struggle of who's right and who's wrong, I want to put those fears to rest. You can do it with the right mindset and the right models. Done in the right way, you'll be neither pushy nor obnoxious.
See, the real pushy evangelists think that making someone believe their theology is the only way to share faith. Nothing else counts to them. I've come to realize they're wrong. Those little moments of goodness that you experience in your faith life are even more important. And sharing those moments are both respectful and effective.
So that's what we're here for. I know you want to make an impact, and would love to see your Church grow. I want to show you how to make that happen through storytelling. The more you follow this blog and my Facebook posts, you'll see more and more techniques and mindsets for faith sharing through storytelling.
For the people who want to make a difference and add value to people's lives, you'll learn two different models for storytelling.
Easter Stories highlight and celebrate goodness.
Lenten Stories describe a time when you changed your thinking or behavior.
If this isn't you, no problem, no hard feelings. But if it is you, stick around and learn this storytelling skill.
Good, still with me? Ready to move on?
The thing is that leading with the theology not only sets you up for an argument, but is actually ineffective at connecting with others. My goal in this next year is to show you how storytelling is the key to reaching people outside of your Church, and to show you my proprietary frameworks that will make it simple for you to craft your stories and share some good news.
Now you may be thinking that it's easy for me to share stories. After all I'm a priest and I'm used to speaking in front of people. But the truth is outside of the pulpit it was just as terrifying for me to bring up matters of faith. I also fell into the trap of thinking I had to lead with theology, that I had to have a complete answer, and even that I needed to convince someone.
All this changed a few years ago when I was trying to do stewardship during the pandemic. I needed to do our annual fundraising while the congregation was dispersed. How was I going to make my appeal. I hit Google and read about how nonprofits use stories to highlight the good things their organizations accomplish with donor funds. They taught me that fundraising, when done well, invites someone to be a part of this good force in the world. I was hooked. I immediately started collecting stories in my parish, and then a thought occurred to me. I realized that this kind of work went beyond fundraising. I was actually sharing good news with my congregation. There's the Good News of Jesus Christ, and then there's the good news of everyday occurrences - those moments when God makes a small difference. But all of those small moments add up.
I abandoned the old vehicle of sharing a complete theological package - it wasn't working for me anyway. And I started collecting and telling stories. Now I didn't need to worry about looking like a pushy evangelist, because now I am far from it. I realized that storytelling works in the Church because it creates a personal connection with others and has absolutely no need for arguing or convincing. Instead, storytelling shares something of value with another person - no matter where they are on their spiritual journey.
Now I have this great opportunity in front of me to create a complete program for storytelling in the parish. It will make use of the models of Easter Stories - those moments of goodness, and Lenten Stories - those moments when you change your thinking or behavior for the better. I've identified the three elements of empathy, anticipation, and laughter to connect deeply with the audience.
In just under two weeks I've had a few hundred blog views on the subject. Numerous people have reached out to me offering support and some have made arrangements for me to do a workshop.
But this work has transformed me also. Now when I find myself in a social situation, I'm never at a loss for what to say. I simply ask people for their stories or share one of my own. The conversations have become very rich.
Secret #1 - How to share without being a pushy evangelist.
When I was in college I went on a spring break mission with Campus Crusade for Christ, now Cru. They handed us little cards that spelled out the Gospel message in four easy steps. Despite the daily training I never read from a single one of those cards. I always felt uncomfortable reducing something so profound to something that fit in my wallet. But that was the only model of evangelization I had.
When I finished seminary I had this burning desire to find a similar way to invite people into the Episcopal Church. Ever since I made the switch in 1999 I was convinced that this Church had the answers I was looking for. I could come and worship God, draw closer, and do it in a way that was right for me. Nobody was pushing me to be holier than I was ready for. Instead I was invited to go deeper. As soon as the pressure was off, I dove in.
I tried to make little tracts like the ones we used in Campus Crusade but they always seemed so banal. I was never happy with my results so I put the sketches in a drawer, where they still are today.
Then one day I was reading one of Russell Brunson's books on online marketing, and he told a story about oversharing in his sales presentations. Whatever the product was, if he got overly technical, his sales would plummet, and plummet hard. But when he told stories about the results he enjoyed, and how his life was better off - whammo. People were ready.
At that moment it hit me. All my evangelism efforts to this date were like the technical sales. Nobody was going to care about how clearly I thought about God unless they connected with God on an emotional level. Stories accomplish that.
I also realized that in my life, the pivotal moments were not because of theological brilliance. (I do enjoy good theology but that came much later.) The pivotal moments were those ordinary encounters of grace in my day to day life. One was when I was a boy visiting my grandparents. At the end of the evening my father zipped up my little coat and swung me into his arms. I always felt so safe because of how strong he was. That evening when he picked me up I was face to face with my grandfather's crucifix. This was no little carving either. It was several feet tall which meant for a little kid it was about as big as I was. I remember staring into this suffering face and despite the bloody depiction I wasn't scared. Maybe a little sad, but not scared. "Who's that?" I asked.
Then my grandfather, in his deep voice said, "That's Jesus Christ." There was no need for a discussion beyond that moment. And that moment affected me deeply.
Over the past few weeks I've been pulling up memories like this one out of my dusty old brain. The more I reflect on them the more I realize that these moments are the ones that set me on the path to first being a dedicated, involved churchgoer, and then going to seminary and taking on holy orders. I sought out the theology later because I had made an emotional connection through my experiences and was trying to make sense of them. It's kind of like the disciples on the road to Emmaus, "Were not our hearts burning within us as he spoke to us on the way and opened the Scriptures to us? (Luke 24:30-32)
The beautiful thing about stories is that you don't need to prove anything, or convince anyone of anything. It is simply a matter of what happened to you. When you choose your stories well, they are something that adds value to your listener's life, because ultimately, you are sharing the goodness that you experienced.
Secret #2 - How to Craft Meaningful Stories From Ordinary Life
Earlier I mentioned the two types of stories: Easter and Lenten. Now I'm going to break them down a little further and go into some more detail.
Easter Stories:
Inspiration - An event from everyday life that reminds you of either goodness in general or the goodness of God.
- Choose an event
- Describe the event in as much detail as possible
- Pivot phrase: I share this with you because ...
- Point: Describe the goodness and what it means for you.
Illustration - Uses an everyday experience to say something about God
- Choose an event
- Describe the event in as much detail as possible
- Pivot phrase: The reason I'm sharing this is
- Say what you want to say about God.
Now you may be thinking that the Illustration Story violates the principle of not leading with theology. The distinction is that the theological point is not a complete picture of God, it is just one aspect, and it makes up a very small part of the story. The bulk of the story is helping your listener relive your experience.
Lenten Stories:
Decision - Describes the beginning of a faith journey, or the beginning of a new chapter of faith.
- Describe what was going on before the decision. Build empathy by sharing emotions. What belief or mindset was dominating?
- Decision: What new mindset did you adopt?
- Describe what life has been like since the decision. Provide details and emotions. Life does not have to be perfect, and the story is actually more powerful if it isn't.
Transformation - Involves some kind of challenge and change of mind within a faith journey.
- What was going on? Provide details, sense information, and emotions.
- What was your false belief or unhelpful mindset?
- What new thing did you learn and how did you learn it?
- What happened afterward?
Using these simple frameworks you can begin crafting your stories. Try them out in the bathroom mirror, and notice how it feels to share something valuable from your life.
Secret #3 - Where to find willing and interested listeners.
Hint, it's about choosing your stories to match with your audience.
Sometimes when I craft my stories I start to wonder who, if anyone would want to listen to them. That's when I'm reminded of the story of Jacob's Ladder.
Jacob was a young man who didn't get along with his brother. He was a trickster who liked to get things for himself. One time he spent an afternoon making lentil stew while his brother was out hunting. After an unsuccessful hunting trip he came home famished, and demanded some of the stew. Jacob demanded Esau's place as first born, and then he would give up the stew. Shrugging his shoulders Esau gave up his birthright, ate the food, and left without saying a word.
Years later Jacob had a dream where he say a staircase reaching from earth to heaven and angels were ascending and descending on it. This is important because Jacob had a very important role to play in history. From him came all the people of Israel. And to do that, Jacob was brought pretty high on that staircase - despite his questionable behavior towards his brother.
For those of us today, the people you meet are going to be at different places on the staircase. For the random stranger at Starbucks, an Inspirational Story might be just the right thing. For a Church audience, a transformation or decision story might be helpful. At other times they might need an illustration story to lift their spirits.
So there are a few places I would recommend sharing your stories.
For casual conversations, stick with Inspirational Stories. If a relationship is more established and your able to be intimate and vulnerable, a Decision Story could work, but only do it occasionally. You don't want to overload your friend with heavy content.
For a live Church audience, any of the four types would work, depending on the situation. For a Stewardship talk, Inspirational Stories are great because they show people what happens because of their generosity. Transformation stories can work when you want to encourage people to take on a big act of service or tackle some challenge. Illustration stories would be in a more formal setting, like Sunday School or Lay Preaching. And Decision Stories work when you want to encourage people about the difference that faith makes in people's lives.
Another great avenue is to record a video and put it on social media. A Church's Facebook Page or Instagram account are nice because the videos only have to capture a moment in time. Work with your pastor to decide what stories are appropriate at a given time.
Don't want to record a video? No problem. Write out your stories and put them on a blog or again on social media. The point is to get them out there and share those valuable moments from your life.
What's the point in all of this?
Over this next year my goal is to equip you for storytelling. You have so many valuable stories to share but right now they're locked inside of you. Let them out! Craft them and share them. To aid in this process I'll be working on several different resources.
- A free online report
- An eBook
- Half Day Storytelling Workshop
- Blog and Social Media examples
- Courses to do within the parish
- Leader guides
- A whole parish program to make storytelling a part of your parish's culture.
- Progressive levels of storytelling to keep you motivated, learning, and developing.
That's a lot to keep me busy. Do you think this would work for you? If you adopted the mindset in Secret 1, and realized that individual moments of faith are valuable and worth sharing, and then if you crafted those stories using the outlines I provide in Secret 2, and shared them to various audiences like I shared in Secret 3, do you think this would make an impact on your local Church? I hope so.
I've shared a lot in this post, and maybe it's a little overwhelming. Learning to tell stories is an art that can't be absorbed in a few minutes. That's why I want you to follow my Facebook Page to keep up with the latest material. If you've already done that, help me get the word out by sharing this post on your own social media platforms. But above all else, share your stories.
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