Growing up I heard a variety of stories about the Roman Catholic Church. My entire family is Roman Catholic, yet my parents never took me very much, and hardly attended themselves. As a result, most of my perceptions were from other's stories. I had an uncle who would tell me about attending parochial school, how he was taught by the nuns, and whenever they would get out of line one of the sisters would throw a piece of chalk at them. Laughing, he described how this nun could hit you between the eyes with a piece of chalk from across the room. Years later I had a co-worker who shared stories about being an altar boy. He and his friends would fight with each other over who would ring the bells when the priest was saying mass. These fights often took place during the service, and this priest had a technique of kneeling down reverently so he could kick them without being seen. He didn't kick them hard, but enough to get their attention so they would stop fighting. I heard so many of these stories that they formed my entire perception of the Church. As a child, teenager, and young adult, I believed that the Church was filled with scary, violent people. As I got older I was able to distinguish between the stories and my own experiences. The actual people I interacted with in the Church were very loving and pleasant. There was Sister Eileen who led me through baptism preparation and first communion classes. Fr. Durr was the priest who baptized me and heard my first confessions. Both of them were wonderful people and were always loving towards me. The more I've had actual personal interactions with Roman Catholic minsters, the more I like them, and the old stories lose their power.
Admittedly the stories I heard about violent discipline were probably accurate. And my own experiences of loving interactions are equally accurate. And of course each took place in different times. Perhaps there were some changes in the Church's culture between the 60's and the mid 80's. In these cultures, you can see pretty clearly two aspects of God - justice and love. The nuns who threw chalk and rapped knuckles with rulers were enforcing discipline, and trying to teach the students how to be self-controlled and how to behave. Today it feels like we've moved away from that mentality because of its excesses, and the Church is expressing more love than it has in the past.
But love without discipline has it drawbacks as well. Consider the person who hijacks a meeting, or berates others, or severely disrupts the community. I have seen plenty of this within my ministry. What's always interesting to watch is the community's response. Often I have seen people try to accommodate such a person. "Perhaps more dialogue is what we need. Maybe if we love them more they'll settle down. Often people act out when they feel like they're not being heard." I've watched this happen many times, and more often than not, extra doses of love have not solved the problem. Sometimes good-old fashioned discipline is required. There is nothing unloving about saying to another person, "What you're doing right now is not okay. Do not talk to me like this."
In mystical thought the qualities of love and justice are not seen as opposing factors, but two qualities that are designed to combine. If you look at any diagrams of the ten sefirot, Love (Hessed), combines with Discipline (Gevurah), to form Compassion (Tif'eret). Any parent instinctively knows this to be true. It's so easy to love a child - they are adorable, they're affectionate, and often they appreciate you. But children can also misbehave. They get into things they're not supposed to. They get frustrated and hit other people. They have trouble expressing themselves so they throw temper-tantrums. Any parent knows that to allow these behaviors to continue is a disservice to the child, since once they're out of the home others may not be so accommodating.
The lessons we hear this coming Sunday outline God applying discipline. In the lesson from 1 Samuel God gives a prophecy against the high priest Eli, and his household. "On that day I will fulfill against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end. For I have told him that I am about to punish his house forever, for the iniquity that he knew, because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them. Therefore I swear to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be expiated by sacrifice or offering forever (1 Samuel 3:12-14)." Notice the charge God brings against Eli. Eli's son's were blaspheming God, and Eli did not restrain them. Eli himself didn't do anything wrong, but he failed to exercise discipline along with his love. Eli's sons behaved in manors unfit for priests, caused scandals, and even extorted the people. Because Eli didn't exercise the necessary discipline, God intervened and exercised it for him. By that point it had gone much farther than it needed to, and the resulting discipline was necessarily much more severe.
In the Hebrew Book of Legends, there is a story about God creating humans. The mystics described it as if there was a beautiful, delicate crystal glass that God was going to pour water into. But if the water was too hot, the glass would shatter. On the other hand, if the water was too cold, the glass would equally shatter. So God mixed the two together, pouring warm water into the glass. It's the same with mixing love and discipline. Too much of one causes immediate damage. Too much of the other creates prolonged damage. But when you combine the two - love with discipline - they work together in perfect harmony, allowing you to live a beautiful, balanced life.
Admittedly the stories I heard about violent discipline were probably accurate. And my own experiences of loving interactions are equally accurate. And of course each took place in different times. Perhaps there were some changes in the Church's culture between the 60's and the mid 80's. In these cultures, you can see pretty clearly two aspects of God - justice and love. The nuns who threw chalk and rapped knuckles with rulers were enforcing discipline, and trying to teach the students how to be self-controlled and how to behave. Today it feels like we've moved away from that mentality because of its excesses, and the Church is expressing more love than it has in the past.
But love without discipline has it drawbacks as well. Consider the person who hijacks a meeting, or berates others, or severely disrupts the community. I have seen plenty of this within my ministry. What's always interesting to watch is the community's response. Often I have seen people try to accommodate such a person. "Perhaps more dialogue is what we need. Maybe if we love them more they'll settle down. Often people act out when they feel like they're not being heard." I've watched this happen many times, and more often than not, extra doses of love have not solved the problem. Sometimes good-old fashioned discipline is required. There is nothing unloving about saying to another person, "What you're doing right now is not okay. Do not talk to me like this."
In mystical thought the qualities of love and justice are not seen as opposing factors, but two qualities that are designed to combine. If you look at any diagrams of the ten sefirot, Love (Hessed), combines with Discipline (Gevurah), to form Compassion (Tif'eret). Any parent instinctively knows this to be true. It's so easy to love a child - they are adorable, they're affectionate, and often they appreciate you. But children can also misbehave. They get into things they're not supposed to. They get frustrated and hit other people. They have trouble expressing themselves so they throw temper-tantrums. Any parent knows that to allow these behaviors to continue is a disservice to the child, since once they're out of the home others may not be so accommodating.The lessons we hear this coming Sunday outline God applying discipline. In the lesson from 1 Samuel God gives a prophecy against the high priest Eli, and his household. "On that day I will fulfill against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end. For I have told him that I am about to punish his house forever, for the iniquity that he knew, because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them. Therefore I swear to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be expiated by sacrifice or offering forever (1 Samuel 3:12-14)." Notice the charge God brings against Eli. Eli's son's were blaspheming God, and Eli did not restrain them. Eli himself didn't do anything wrong, but he failed to exercise discipline along with his love. Eli's sons behaved in manors unfit for priests, caused scandals, and even extorted the people. Because Eli didn't exercise the necessary discipline, God intervened and exercised it for him. By that point it had gone much farther than it needed to, and the resulting discipline was necessarily much more severe.
In the Hebrew Book of Legends, there is a story about God creating humans. The mystics described it as if there was a beautiful, delicate crystal glass that God was going to pour water into. But if the water was too hot, the glass would shatter. On the other hand, if the water was too cold, the glass would equally shatter. So God mixed the two together, pouring warm water into the glass. It's the same with mixing love and discipline. Too much of one causes immediate damage. Too much of the other creates prolonged damage. But when you combine the two - love with discipline - they work together in perfect harmony, allowing you to live a beautiful, balanced life.
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